KEN RUEGG
VICTIMIZED BY MILLIONS
DETROIT IN THE CARIBBEAN: A tale of drum and disc brakes
                                                                                                                                    MARKETING ANALYSTS at Detroit, located a large Caribbean island, the roads of which all lack traffic lights, due to the complete absence of intersections.                                                                                                                                                                                                                               AUTOMOBILE MANUFACTURERS immediately began to build factories there, which produce cars without brakeing systems, to be driven on local roads.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              EVERYTHING WENT WELL, until a shipping clerk mistakenly sent millions of these cars lacking brakes, to dealerships in New York City, and a few other areas, where traffic lights at intersections are abundant.                                                                                                                                         NUMEROUS COMPLAINTS to the Highway Patrol, allege that owners of cars without brakes, have been stealing traffic lights, and barricading intersections. An unusually large number of "stop", and "reduce speed" signs, have been reported as "missing".                                                                                                                                                                                  HIGHWAY ENGINEERS AND MOTORCYCLE COPS, in attempting to solve this problem, have concluded that cars manufactured without brakes, do not belong on roads where brakes are necessary. Which was already self-evident. Except to the engineers and cops. And the shipping clerk.                                                                                                                                                                                   POPULAR SINGERS AND RECORDING ARTISTS, who previously had platinum hit singles like "Bar Wars", have now added songs such as "Car Wars", and "Collisions in the Afternoon", to their repertoires.